Grief Recovery Training

 

It’s been one week since I walked into a space, genuinely having no idea what I was about to experience. 

 

I was walking into day one of Grief Recovery Training, and the first thing I noticed was there were full-sized boxes of tissues designated to each chair. As well as that, these chairs were in a semi-circle. 

 

This meant no one could hide in the back behind their desks or tables.

Did I mention there were no tables?

After walking into this room, I knew immediately that the next four days were going to be long, and they were going to be emotional.

I was nervous.

Will I be the only one who ends up crying?

What if I am the only one who has suffered such a significant loss?

Have I healed as much as I thought, what if I end up being a basket case for the next four days?

Am I going to get my money back if I can’t get through it?

Will they think I am crazy for thinking I could help anyone grieving when I can barely help myself?

Honestly, all of these questions went through my head seconds after I walked in the room. Admittedly, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. 

 

I learned very quickly that I was not the only one feeling this way.

It didn’t take long before the introductions began, and all I can say is WOW.

There were twenty people in the room, and every single one of them had a story.

Don’t we all?

I was instantly relieved that I was not the “only one.”

I know that sounds crazy that I was excited to know that everyone in the room shared devastation, confusion, and grief. Nonetheless, it’s relieving to be in a space with people who get it. 

Who not only get the heartache but also understand why I have a strong desire to help.

We all had different stories, but we all shared indescribable pain. 

 

In this case, the pain was not all a result of death. So many people think that if no one has died, then they aren’t likely experiencing grief.

Contrary to what many people believe, grief comes in many forms. 

 

Therefore, we learned about many of the life circumstances that cause pain. To sum up, it’s pretty safe to say everyone has experienced one form of grief or another at some point in their life.

So why such a stigma?

As we went around the room, we laughed, we cried, and we dug deep. We did this together as a group despite never having met. 

 

All of us became a team in minutes, and the room felt lighter than just moments before.

What I learned was; 

We all feel.

All of us experience loss.

No one is exempt from experience pain.

 -And-

Everyone will grieve at some point in their life.

We don’t necessarily grieve the same way, and our pain doesn’t always come in the same form. 

Equally, neither do our losses. No one should feel as though their story isn’t hard enough or powerful enough. 

 

Everyone should be allowed to feel what they feel without worrying about the comparison. 

 

Comparison and “one-upping” another person’s grief heals no one and typically creates more damage than good. Not only that, but we all have a right not to be okay, and we should never have to justify it to anyone.

One thing I know for sure is we often mistake our pain for weakness. 

 

We limit our healing because of the misinformation we hear in society about “being strong.”

Our healing suffers because of the misinformation about what grief should look like.  

I want to remind everyone that it’s perfectly okay not to be okay.

This statement can be seen everywhere in the mental health world, the grief support community, songs, and books, but we often ignore it anyway. 

Consequently, we go on trying to hold ourselves together because we don’t want to burden anyone or make others feel uncomfortable. 

Sometimes we don’t want to feel the discomfort of explaining why we are sad and why we aren’t “over it.”

We are tired, and sometimes we don’t have the tools we need to carry on.

They say time heals, yet we don’t know what to do while waiting for the proverbial “time” to heal us. It just doesn’t work. Besides, it’s not helpful for most people who are hurting and or feeling stuck.

If you are lucky enough to have a knowledgeable therapist who understands the realities of grief and grief support, then you are one step in the right direction towards healing. 

 

On the other hand, if you aren’t so lucky, you are left talking in circles for far too long. 

 

Thus you give up once you have identified the infamous five stages, and society decides you should move on.

 

In this training, I learned once again that; people want their grief to be validated, want to be heard, and want to heal uniquely without judgment.

I was truly blessed to be where I was for those four intensive days. 

 

Without a doubt I felt that the universe placed us all in that room together in the exact moment we needed one another. 

I will always remember the people like how they were on the first day and the way they left on the last day.

All of us received a gift that weekend. That gift came in the form of compassion, knowledge, and the ability to move forward with tools to help people who are desperately looking for a way to feel better.

It’s okay not to be okay, but when you are ready to be okay again, the grief recovery method is a truly restorative experience. 

 

One that you will walk away from feeling EMPOWERED and READY to carry your story with you in a way that brings peace and healing, rather than pain and sorrow.

I am so honored to have spent those four days with all those I met in training. Your stories are inspiring beyond belief, and your compassion for humankind is commendable.

If anyone is interested in learning more about the Grief Recovery Method, please contact me at [email protected]. 

I offer The Grief Recovery Method both in person and virtually and you can find all of my programs by clicking this link:

 

https://www.megrobertslifecoaching.ca/grief-support/.

To register for the upcoming Grief Recovery Method Groups, you can find the links at the bottom of this page. 

The grief recovery method is all over the world, helping so many grievers deal with the pain, isolation, and loneliness that they feel as a result of any loss. 

 

It is also the only evidence-based program in the world, and if you are ready to work through your pain, it is effective. 

 

For more information on The Grief Recovery Method, you can click this link: 

https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com.

“It’s never too soon heal your heart” – thegriefrecoverymethod

Photostory: Back in 2016, when I was still very early on in my grief after the death of my fiancé, my good friend Sarah texted me this song after having met Madeline Merlo. Sarah told me the song made her think of me, and when I listened to it on repeat, I felt so lucky. 

 

I felt fortunate because I knew that Sarah genuinely had my back and that she would ALWAYS be there with no judgment. The song meant the world to me and when I got to hear Madeline Merlo perform it live this year, I, of course, had to buy the shirt 😉 Here is the link.

Meg