5 Ways to Reboot Your Life in 2020
Meg Roberts | Certified Grief Recovery Specialist and Life Coach
We tend to do the same things over and over and can’t seem to figure out why nothing ever changes. Albert Einstein said it best when defining insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
If we often fly by the seat of our pants, just going through the motions, it is tough to allocate time and energy to anything other than the day to day hustle. Also, when we are continually consuming trash on social media or exposing ourselves to negative people, it can be challenging to find inspiration or motivation to work on the things that are important to us.
What is important is going to look different for everyone. Not everyone is trying to run a business or get a promotion, but almost everyone has at least one thing they would like to have a little bit more of in life, and that requires some consistent changes to be successful.
Here are five things that I have consciously placed more effort on in my life that has made it significantly easier and more enjoyable. These changes don’t always happen overnight, but when you are aware of them, you can implement them one day at a time.
1. Have a plan – even though I am someone who hates planning due to learning the hard way that things can drastically change, I still understand the importance of living intentionally and having a clear idea of what you want to accomplish.
If you are someone who has a goal to accomplish something by a specific date, YOU MUST HAVE A PLAN. Time flies so fast, and our lives are so busy. Before you know it, that predetermined date creeps upon you, and you have done nothing towards your goals. I know this because it’s happened to me on more than one occasion.
Once I began formulating plans with precise deadlines and action steps, I started seeing success far quicker. Even just one small step every day will help you see results.
Create the plan and then review it weekly for reminders and to make adjustments when needed. Remember, this can include basic day to day tasks like laundry, cleaning and grocery shopping. The more you have planned the smoother your week will go.
2. Get rid of the toxic stuff in your life (that you can) – When I went back to work after taking bereavement leave, I could not believe the amount of negativity. I mean, it was there before but I had such a different perspective coming back. The negativity seemed like such a waste of precious time and energy.
I was able to remove myself from this, but I understand sometimes you can’t. For those who aren’t in a position to get away from it, at least take a moment to be aware, notice, and intentionally form boundaries to keep yourself from going down that rabbit hole of toxicity.
Things can become so cynical, and it can be so easy to fall into the trap of “everything sucks” and “no one can do anything right”. Trust me, I worked in one of the most toxic lines of work you could imagine, and it is damn near impossible to stay away from it, but it can be done. If not physically then mentally.
You have to take control of what you are going to give energy to. This is on you and no one else. If there is absolutely no way to avoid it, YOU MUST make time to clear your mind from it. This time can include things like going for walk, listening to music, journalling or meditating. Whatever you do to relax and recharge, do it after these toxic encounters.
3. Have a routine with non-negotiable items – Sometimes I cringe at the idea of having a routine because anyone with kids knows this is not always possible. Life in general is always changing, but when you have kids, the element of surprise is taken to a whole new level.
Try to give yourself 3-5 things that you do daily that are non negotiable. Like getting up on time, always getting dressed for success, having breakfast etc. These don’t have to be big things and can be adjusted whenever necessary, but having some kind of morning routine can prevent you from flying by the seat of your pants every single day.
If you are like me, your morning sets the tone for your day.
4. Self Care – I know this one can seem so cliché, but it is crucial if you want to do more than go through the motions of life. I have always been pretty good at doing the things I love as often as I can, but since having kids, this has become a lot more difficult.
When going through my grief journey, I found things that helped me stay grounded and inspired, and I began to make these things a daily activity, which in my opinion, made a significant impact on my recovery.
Once I had kids to take care of, this changed drastically for me. I no longer had the luxury to do as I please whenever I wanted. I had to prioritize, and unfortunately, the things that were keeping my mental health in check were the same things that were not making the priority list.
I have since changed my way of thinking in terms of what is important. Yes, the kids are right up there on the top of the list, but if I can’t function because of uninvited grief triggers or massive anxiety, I am no good to anyone. I had to make my mental health and personal care a priority so that I could show up better for everyone.
This is not selfish; it’s the complete opposite.
5. Try to live in the moment as much as you can – I relive the week leading up to my fiancé Nick’s death over and over and over, and the one thing I am so thankful for is that for some reason I lived in the moment more in that week than I ever had in my life. I do believe the Universe had my back that week and knew that I needed to “just be” so that when I lost Nick, I wouldn’t have regrets.
Work had been busy, and I had so much on my mind. All these things that were out of my control could have easily taken away from our last moments together. The very last night we spent together I was so frustrated over a situation at work and a personal matter that I couldn’t control that Nick took my phone away from me and refused to let me have it until we got home. We were on a date at the Brad Paisley concert, and he said these words, “Babe, no work talk tonight, just us.”
That was our last night together.
As I write this, tears come to my eyes. I know that I am still guilty of forgetting what is important, and ever so often, I forget how quickly our lives can change and that those we love can be gone forever.
I know life can be chaotic, stressful, and frustrating at times, and I know it can be so hard to let those things go, but I want to encourage you to take a few minutes to LET IT ALL OUT and then LET IT GO.
Unless you can do something to change the situation in the current moment you are in, then let it go for right now. You will always be able to go back to it if there is something you can do to change it, but if there’s not, LET IT GO.
While you’re at it, put down your phone. I have made a considerable effort to look at my phone far less. I have boundaries that I stick to, and when I catch myself mindlessly scrolling, I put my phone so far away so that I no longer have the temptation. I have noticed my phone spends a lot more time dead because I don’t have a desire to charge it, and I am far less annoyed with the constant trash and negativity that overwhelms the online world.
I use social media and other internet programs for my business, so I can’t get rid of it entirely. Still, since setting solid boundaries for myself, I feel I have more control over my life than I have in a very long time.
I am not an expert at any of these things, but I can confidently say that since being more aware of them, my life has become better. The stress hasn’t disappeared, we are still busy, and I still experience toxicity that I can’t get away from. However, since making the five things listed above a priority in my life, it has helped me manage my life more happily and healthily.
If you want to implement these in your life, I will encourage you to journal at the same time. You will see the way your mindset and mood shifts, and you will see how your productivity increases in a surprisingly short period of time.
Good luck and talk soon!