Playing small is F#cking Boring.

Okay, I will be honest, I hesitated with this title, and I thought maybe I should change one of the words, so I didn’t offend anyone, but then I remembered there are books on the shelves in bookstores with this word in the title so who am I really worried about offending? I can almost guarantee anyone who follows me or who has read my blog can appreciate the emphasis that the F-word brings to a statement. I also want to be completely authentic to any future clients, and I can promise you if you hire me as a life coach; I might swear.

I could have used words like incredibly, or very, or extremely, but most people who I know follow and read my entries would not be intrigued by those words; quite frankly neither would I. Anyway, I digress.

Playing small is F#cking Boring.

Having worked in a job for ten years that wasn’t “the” job for me, makes this statement resonate with me. What’s interesting is my job as a police officer was far from boring, and there was not one single day that was the same as another. So why was I so bored?

I recently watched a video about discovering your gifts and what to do with them. Since losing my fiancé, I have preached living on purpose because life is too short to become stagnant. If we aren’t living on purpose, we are missing so much as the days pass us by.

When I was working as a cop, I was not living on purpose. I was getting up at hours that make me sick to my stomach to drive over 30 minutes (sometimes more) to a job that I often hated. I went into policing because I thought it would not only be really fun, but I thought I could do good for people. It didn’t take me long to realize that with the legal system we have in this country it is challenging to do good for anyone who has been victimized by a crime. I still carried on and did my very best every single day. Many cops as we speak are still trying, and they are the ones who become burnt out and jaded through the process. I having nothing but respect for those of you who fall into that category and if you are reading this; you are important and what you do is admirable.

I knew that my energy was depleting. Any chance I had to do good for people was being overwhelmed by frustration, disappointment, guilt, and exhaustion. I felt like I was playing small as a cop and the more tired I became, the smaller I felt. I rarely went home feeling like I changed anyone’s life for the better and I often went home with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach because I worked with people who should never have been given the honor to wear the uniform because they are the furthest thing from good.

Hear me when I say this, there are so many good people who wear the uniform every day and I know and love many of them, but these people, on a daily basis, are being painted with the same brush as those who are untrustworthy, corrupt, and cold-hearted; and that makes life as a cop very hard and it made me feel like I was playing small.

As a cop, I felt I was playing small in a pool of people, and a society of hate, that sucked the life right out of me. Nevertheless, I stayed, because for me, at the time; it was the easier road and was comfortable and secure.

Change is not easy and admitting that a job, that you thought would be your job for life, is not the job for you; is really hard. I felt ashamed, I felt guilty, and I felt regretful, and it wasn’t until my fiancé, and I sat down and made a five-year plan that some of those feelings went away. I wasn’t quitting because I was giving up, I was quitting because I wanted to do more.

Enrolling in University as an adult while working a full-time job is what some would call crazy, but for me, it brought me a sense of freedom and a feeling of opportunity that I hadn’t felt in a really long time.

As many of you know, only a short few weeks after I made this decision I experienced a devastating loss. My fiance was killed in an avalanche while snowmobiling at the age of 30 years old. That same man who helped me make the decision to start playing big.

The very first thing I said to my colleagues when I saw them was, “I am not going back to policing.” Many of them thought I was just in shock and beginning the process of my grief, but those who knew me well knew that I was serious.

I was playing small as a cop, and I knew I wanted something different. Did I know exactly what I wanted at the time? No, but I knew what I didn’t want, and that was enough to get the process of change started.

So I quit my job, exactly one year after the death of my fiance. His death was my rebirth and although it was one of the worst things that could ever happen to me; it was also the best in terms of perspective.

Not everyone can quit their jobs tomorrow, and no one who cares about your well being will encourage you to do that. However, with that said, everyone has the ability to create an exit plan. Even if your exit plan consists of one or two or five years of hard work; it is better than playing small forever because playing small is f#cking boring.

Here is what I have learned:

1. You do not have to work in a job that you hate forever.

2. Just because someone loves the job, doesn’t mean you have to.

3. Everyone is different. Not better or worse; just different.

4. Change is hard, but it’s worth it.

5. Some people have left careers just like yours, and if you do some research, you can find one of them to help you through the process. You might have to pay for it but it will be the best money you have ever spent because it will give you your life back. I have invested several dollars into the journey of my self-growth and I have no regrets.

6. Always, always, always follow your gut.

7. Playing small is f#cking boring.

If you are at a place in your life where you feel like you’re playing small, take a moment to reassess what it is you want, and if you can’t figure out what you want; be clear on what you don’t want because that is also progress in the right direction.

STOP justifying why you are staying in a career that creates more anxiety than it does satisfaction. STOP making excuses and STOP playing small.

You have been given one life, and if you are feeling like you were made for so much more; you’re probably right.


As I began to embark on the journey of becoming a life coach, I often had to answer the common questions, “why would one hire a life coach?”

Not only did others ask me this, but I would also ask myself this question on a regular basis as I struggled to answer the question, “why would someone hire me as a life coach?”

Through my own process of identifying and navigating my “imposter syndrome,” I was able to answer the question to why someone would hire me as a life coach. The answer is this –

I have faced a great deal of adversity and rather than allowing it to define me, I found a way to flourish. I will not attempt to coach someone through something I am not willing to do or haven’t already done myself. I have a multitude of examples of when I faced my fears and followed my heart in a way that was authentic to me. I never choose the “easy” way, and I never allow my excuses to hold me down.

I believe everyone has the potential to change a situation they are not happy with and I have a strong desire to help those who feel “stuck,” as I know that feeling all too well. I understand the importance of stepping out of your comfort zone, and I often do things in my own life that are terrifying to me.

As I have experienced first hand, life is too short and now is the time to do the things that set your soul on fire. If you have been contemplating hiring a life coach, I strongly recommend you have a look at the list I have compiled as to why you should do so.

1. Clarity – My primary goal as a life coach is to help you build clarity. I know how difficult it can be to determine what it is that you “really” want in life and sometimes it takes a lot of digging deep and acknowledging some of the “outrageous” things that have been going on in your mind regarding goals. By the way, when I say outrageous, I mean things YOU think are too outrageous to ever accomplish because you are lacking the confidence to undertake them.

Clarity is essential to achieving goals because if you are not clear on what it is you want, it is impossible to set realistic goals.

2. For a sounding board – Life coaches can be your sounding board. If you decide to hire a life coach, be aware that not everyone has the ability to be an active listener.

Side note: You should be able to determine during a consultation, whether or not a coach is capable of actively listening rather than listening in order to respond. If you don’t know the difference between these two types of listening, I strongly recommend you have a look at Franklin Covey’s, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. If someone is claiming to be a coach, they better have active listening as one of their skills. One of my favorite quotes is the following:

“Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf.” – Native American Proverb

A coaching session is a lot like talk therapy; only it can’t be called therapy as there is a fine line between coaching and therapy. However, with that said; coaching is very much client-centered, and the role of the coach is to listen and then use what they have heard to properly guide their client through a process of change and development. This is done by designing a roadmap with the client, sharing perspective, and teaching strategies to overcome obstacles and fears that may be standing in the way of success. This involves determining the clients strengths and weaknesses and building off of that.

3. Empowerment – A life coach LOVES to empower their clients. More often than not a coach will have a client who has a moment or several moments of weakness, at which point the coach will use their enthusiasm and perspective to build their clients back up and remind them that they are capable of anything as long as they never give up.

The actual definition of empowerment in the dictionary is as follows:

-the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.

4. Unbiased help – a life coach can offer assistance and encouragement through the decision making from an unbiased position. It can be so challenging to elicit help from close friends, family, or colleagues because their advice isn’t always impartial. Many times someone’s opinion is based on their own fears and may not reflect what is best for you. A life coach has no emotional connection to you and therefore can help you make decisions without being emotionally motivated.

A life coach’s job is to help you succeed and therefore they will focus all of their efforts on helping you do just that; unlike, for example, the colleague who you may be competing with.

5. Accountability – last but certainly not least a life coach is there to hold you accountable. When you don’t show up for yourself. If you don’t complete that task you had set to complete by Saturday, the life coach won’t say “well but at least you got to enjoy your night out with your friends on Friday.” The coach will hold you accountable and not accept any of your excuses (short of a natural disaster) as to why you failed to complete whatever it is you tasked yourself with.

Accountability is by far one of the most important reasons why someone should hire a life coach. It’s no different than going to the gym. I can speak from experience when I say that bailing on the gym is a lot harder to do when you know you have others there waiting for you.

When you set a goal, it is going to be a lot harder to bail on yourself when you know your life coach will be following up and holding you accountable for the decisions you make.

These are only a handful of reasons why YOU should hire a life coach if you are at a fork in the road and feeling stuck. DO NOT hire a life coach if you are in an unhealthy state and in need of therapy. Also, DO NOT hire a life coach if you are not ready to make a change. More often than not, someone is hiring a life coach because they want to change something and if you are not ready to accept that this process of change is going to be extremely uncomfortable, you are likely not in a place where hiring a life coach will be beneficial to you.

“Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.” – Albert Einstein-

When you continue to try the same thing over and over with no success, it may be time to bring in a new perspective; and that is precisely where a life coach fits in.

For more information on Courageous Life Coaching click on the following link: