Excerpt from my upcoming book – There is No Sugar in This Sh#t Pie (still trying to come up with a subtitle)
Who is this book for?
This book is for anyone who is looking for a bit of hope. Hope through the process of grief and hardships. Hope through a transition in life, or perhaps hope through life in general and all it’s inevitable chaos.
In the last five years my life has been far from “normal” and far from easy, but as I sit here today, I still, despite all of what has happened; love my life. I went through a period where I didn’t, and that was a large part due to the death of Nick, but as I grew from that part of my life, and continue to grow, the beauty of it all becomes more and more apparent.
No one who has moved away from their home town in their late 20’s as a result of a very close family member’s death, then fell in love, got engaged, become widowed, lived through loss, lived through a disease of her own which required multiple surgeries and devastating results, fell in love again, became a step parent, and had a baby, all within five years; can do so without learning a few things. That is what this book is about. My goal is to share what I have learned with the hope that I might make someone else’s journey just a little bit more bearable.
I do not sugar coat, I swear a little (maybe a lot), and I share things that others would be mortified to share about themselves. I do so because I have managed to get to where I am because of the stories, strength, and inspiration of others who I came across in my own journey and I want to pay it forward by allowing my story to become someone else’s guiding light. Someone else’s proof that humans can overcome trauma, hardships, and rough transitions and still live an amazing life.
I want others to read my story and know that they are not alone. I want others to read my story and say, “If she can get through that, I can get through this”, whatever “this” might be.
I am not a New York Times Best Selling author and I don’t claim to “know it all”. I am nowhere near at the level of success I hope to be someday and I certainly don’t spend every day in meditation loving all things “life”. I still have bad days and I still do the very things I tell others not to do. I will share with you the good, the bad, and the ugly, and I will be completely transparent through that process.
Listen, when you are in the darkest hole of your life, and you are looking for someone to lean on, whether in person, in a book, podcast or YouTube video etc.; you need someone who is real, who has lived it, and who will not claim that it can all be overcome by simply being “happy” or by surrendering to the Universe. Trust me, I tried.
You cannot happy your way through some of the experiences I have gone through, but YOU CAN get through them with hard work and determination. You can get through them and come out of it in a far better state than you were before your world came crashing down on you. It is not easy, it is certainly not pretty, and I have no doubt you will want to give up but my promise to you is this; if you find it in yourself to keep going just for one more day, it will get better. I have been there, I have felt many of the things you are feeling, and I made it. So will you.
So sit back, grab some tissue, and enjoy. This journey hasn’t been easy but as you will see; it’s been worth it.
Excerpt from Chapter Three – February 20, 2016
So now I sit here today, and I realize my life didn’t end on that day. I did not die, and instead, I was awakened. I sit here, and I cry, as usual, and I wonder how the hell I got through. I sit here, and I think about those mountains, and I wonder why they had to take my Nick. How could something so beautiful create such horror?
Here is what I learned. Bad things happen all the time. Bad things happen to good people and bad things can either define you and destroy you or they can reshape you and provoke you to rise to be better and more aware of how truly magnificent this life is.
The truth is though, it takes time to get to that realization and the work that has to be completed is not easy. It is dark, ugly, and downright terrifying. The sad reality is, not everyone makes it through. Not because they are weak, not because they are selfish, but because this process is very hard and sometimes the darkness wins. However, with that said, I do believe the more we advocate for mental health, trauma, and the realities of grief and hardships, the better we can take care of those who are suffering. This is a learning process and that is why I share my story.
I share because I want everyone to understand that I will not preach what I don’t practice and I will not ask anyone to do something, if I have not yet done it myself. My story is raw and real and there will be no sugar added to this shit pie.
My life was forever changed on February 20, 2016. Just when I thought the death of my Aunt in 2012 would be the most difficult experience I would have to go through in my young adult life, I was handed another hand of cards that I was not ready for, and that I quite frankly; did not want. Who would want these cards? I had no idea how to play these cards? Where the hell are the rules and guidelines for this hand of cards because there is no way I can get through this without an instruction manual.
Stay tuned in the coming months for more 🙂